Oh Yes They Did
January 6, 2022
Oh hello again,
New year, same lockdown, am I right? I know many of you probably saw those “2022 = 2020 too” memes but I didn’t expect Dougie to take it so literally. Either way we’re back by somewhat popular demand. We’ve switched to Substack because late stage captialism demands I monetize my social networks. It’s either this or a one-way ticket to Mars with alive boy Bezos from what I understand. I’m not actually going to charge you I just wanted a platform that was easier to manage than email where I would frequently forget to BCC everyone.
The call was coming from inside the house
As some of you might know the publishing world has been victim to the naughty exploits of a shadowy figure who was impersonating everyone from editors and agents to authors to steal unpublished manuscripts. Well that person has now been caught by the FBI and revealed to be Filippo Bernardini, a right coordinator for Simon & Schuster UK. The general public is perplexed as to why someone would commit wire fraud and identity theft for a scheme with no disceernable benefit or payoff but jokes on them because we all know people in publishing aren’t motivated by profit but rather clout, Cheese Boutique boards, and earning a kiss from German Zaddy.
No-vak! Go back!
This is the story of a man who thought the rules didn’t apply to him. Well it turns out they kind of do. Novak Djokovic had acquired a special medical exemption that was supposed to allow him to enter Australia without being vaccinated. When he got there Australia was like “jk! go to the detention hotel and stay there! we don’t understand what kind of medical exemption a world class athlete would even have.” Now Novak’s dad is comparing him to Jesus and states “My son is the new world's Spartacus, who will not tolerate injustice, colonialism and hypocrisy”. Because when you think anti-colonialism you definitely think tennis.
How many men can fail the same woman?
In “leave her alone” news, Aaliyah’s estate/mainly her greedy ass uncle is releasing a posthumous album called UNSTOPPABLE later this month. The album contains features from The Weeknd, Chris Brown, Snoop Dogg, Future, Ne-Yo, and Drake. This list manages to be an amazing mix of people whose music I have no interest in hearing and men with histories of being creepy and downright abusive to women. Others have pointed out that this could have been an opportunity to celebrate Aaliyah’s legacy by featuring artists like H.E.R, Normani, Ciara, etc. or even her actual friends and collaborators like Missy Elliot and Timbaland. But in 2020 too this is what we get.
tik-tok of the day
The kids have discovered Celine Dion and I am really into it.
What I’m listening to
Justice for Glitter! All hail Mariah! I’ve been enjoying this podcast called Back Issue, two hosts revisit cultural moments from the past and discuss. It’s always funny and insightful. In this episode they ask the question “was Glitter a bad movie, or was it sabotaged by 9/11?” Either way everyone agree the soundtrack slaps.
That’s it for now. As usual let me know if you find something cool that you’d like me to share. Unsubscribe if you don’t like and share with a friend if you do.
k love you byeee